Wit & Wisdom

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Thu Oct 26, 2006 7:27 pm

Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 3:36 am

DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 7:59 am

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness.Think of your three best friends.If they're okay, then it's you.

Author Rita Mae Brown,quoted in the Lansing,Mich., State Journal

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 9:30 am

Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist,since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by it.

Bertrand Russell,quoted in the London Daily Express

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 11:18 am

Husband's note on refrigerator for wife:

Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
They said the Pabst beer is normal. I didn't know you liked beer.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 8:48 am

There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 3:04 pm

Success is the point of self-deception.Failure is the point of self-knowledge.

Graham Greene,quoted in the London Mail On Sunday.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sun Oct 29, 2006 5:43 am

The 50-50-90 rule:

Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sun Oct 29, 2006 5:19 pm

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 3:50 am

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Rodney Dangerfield

TerryGirl · Post by **TerryGirl** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 4:16 am

If all the women at our lunch meeting were laid end to end out in the parking lot.................. I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:19 am

TerryGirl wrote:If all the women at our lunch meeting were laid end to end out in the parking lot.................. I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

I"ll bet the ladies of the OBDTF are looking for you at the next lunch.....and I know you aren't hard to find...... :lol:

RiverRatRay · Post by **RiverRatRay** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:31 am

TerryGirl wrote:If all the women at our lunch meeting were laid end to end out in the parking lot.................. I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

HUH!

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 7:23 am

Drew (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 7:46 am

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds.

Edmund Burke,quoted in The Wall Street Journal

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 8:39 am

a bisexual is someone who reaches down another's pants and is pleased no matter what they find.

TerryGirl · Post by **TerryGirl** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 9:09 am

TigerTownTurkey wrote:
TerryGirl wrote:If all the women at our lunch meeting were laid end to end out in the parking lot.................. I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

I"ll bet the ladies of the OBDTF are looking for you at the next lunch.....and I know you aren't hard to find......

No, no, no, . You misunderstood. A bunch of us girls meet every Tuesday at the Golden Corral and have lunch and play cards. I wouldn't talk about YOUR girls at all. :shock:

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 10:53 am

TerryGirl wrote:
TigerTownTurkey wrote:
TerryGirl wrote:If all the women at our lunch meeting were laid end to end out in the parking lot.................. I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

I"ll bet the ladies of the OBDTF are looking for you at the next lunch.....and I know you aren't hard to find......

No, no, no, . You misunderstood. A bunch of us girls meet every Tuesday at the Golden Corral and have lunch and play cards. I wouldn't talk about YOUR girls at all.

You may play but it aint cards you are playing with...... :lol:

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:33 am

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.

RiverRatRay · Post by **RiverRatRay** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:28 am

If all the men at our lunch meeting were laid end to end out in the parking lot....it wouldn't surprise me.