Wit & Wisdom

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:57 am

There are three faithful friendsâ€”an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

Benjamin Franklin

Focused · Post by **Focused** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 11:55 am

If you really want to know who your friends are, just make a mistake.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:36 am

"After all, what is a pedestrian? He is a man who has two carsâ€”one being driven by his wife, the other by one of his children."

Robert Bradbury, city official, Liverpool

Focused · Post by **Focused** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 10:39 pm

The hardest thing in life to learn, is which bridges to cross, and which ones to burn.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:36 am

You can tell how long a couple has been married by whether they are on their first, second or third bottle of Tabasco."

Bruce R. Bye

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 8:19 am

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.

Charlotte Bronte,quoted in The Montreal Gazette

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:25 pm

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.

Sleep expert William Dement,quoted in Salon.com

Focused · Post by **Focused** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 7:37 pm

Be yourself is the worst advice you can give to some people.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:04 am

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 8:02 am

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right,he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.

Clergyman Charles Wadsworth,quoted in the Topeka Capital Journal

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:08 am

"I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?"

Bill Watterson

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 7:38 am

Everything's got a moral,if only you can find it.

Lewis Carrol,quoted in The New York Times

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 8:05 am

The meaning of life is just finding a place for all your stuff.

George Carlin,quoted in the Chicago Sun-Times

Focused · Post by **Focused** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:50 pm

Hold tight rein over three T's - thought, temper, and tongue - and you will have few regrets.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 7:11 am

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Garrison Keillor,quoted in The Kansas Star

Focused · Post by **Focused** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:02 pm

Don't get so wrapped up in what the world has to sell that you miss what God has to give.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Dec 23, 2006 10:13 am

When we are happy we are always good,but when we are good we are not always happy.

Oscar Wilde,quoted in The Montreal Gazette

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Dec 24, 2006 9:54 am

However much you knock at nature's door,she will never answer you in comprehensible words

Ivan Turgenev,quoted in Forbes

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 8:15 am

The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.

Tom Waits,quoted in the London Guardian

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 5:52 am

"The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill."

Bryan Miller