Wit & Wisdom

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 4:22 pm

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 11:27 am

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either......

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 7:22 am

There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse

than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.....

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 9:23 am

Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist,since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it.

Bertrand Russell,quoted in United Press International

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:32 pm

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.....

Focused · Post by **Focused** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:00 pm

"If your outgo exceeds your income, your upkeep will be your downfall."

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 8:20 am

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?

A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:13 am

All of the Earth's continents are wider at the north than in the south - and nobody knows why.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:13 am

The best recorded distance for projectile vomiting is 27 feet.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:14 am

With two forks and a charge, a pickle will emit light.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:15 am

It is illegal to be a prostitute in Siena, Italy, if your name is Mary.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:15 am

97% of all paper money in the US contains traces of cocaine.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:16 am

Murder is the only crime that does not increase during the full moon. Theft, disorderly conduct, larceny, armed robbery, assault and battery, and rape all statistically increase dramatically during the full moon.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:16 am

The average U.S. farm has 467 acres; the average Japanese farm has 3 acres.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:17 am

90 percent of women who walk into a department store immediately turn to the right.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:17 am

There are 635,013,559,599 possible hands in a game of bridge.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:17 am

In 1976 an LA secretary named Jannene Swift officially married a 50 pound rock in a ceremony witnessed by more than 20 people.

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:18 am

It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
Alec Bourne

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:18 am

To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Elbert Hubbard

whodeyAtown21 · Post by **whodeyAtown21** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:19 am

"Donâ€™t be so humble - you are not that great."
- Golda Meir (1898-1978), to a visiting diplomat